When the Past Calls, Do You Answer ?


When the past calls, do you answer ?

(Applicable to women as well but this is my point of view on types of men)

The One That Just Doesn't Get It & Never Will:

The permanent benchwarmer that you know will never get any play but he embodies all or most of the personality and romantic attributes you wish other guys possess, but he's missing one or two things that to you are important but to the world are shallow. He treats you with the utmost respect and he reaches out and answers whenever you call and his effort levels are unmatched.

Why do we hang on?:

We crave attention and subconsciously we know this guy is willingly and happily giving us what we have to pull teeth to get from other guys, but he's just not it.

Don't let him back in:

 That'll only lead him on, especially knowing that you're not going to take him seriously. That's cruel.

The Evil (Sometimes Seductive) Demon:

The one that when you see him, or any mention of him sends a grueling shiver up your spine...like when Harry Potter sees Lord Voldermort. They know exactly what to do and when to do it to get your attention. The type of guy that might've done wrong by you or is just a sexual conquest that you know was (or is) bad for you in every other aspect that is not physical.

Why do we hang on?:

If the sex was satisfying and you know that he'll respond if you call and vice versa 9 times out of 10 we'll go for it if it's desperate times. He's not immediately available to us and subliminally we like to chase. It's that or sometimes we're so stuck on the exterior and his physique, or just the physical intimacy we ignore the early signs that the interior is either really crappy, or not there. Like he lacks personality, or he's sneaky and sometimes we even make justifications or convince ourselves we don't care it's just sex.

Don't let him back in: 

If the sex wasn't there would he be ? If you for whatever reason were unable to have sex, how long would you keep him around ?

The Pop-Up Potential:

The guy that had all of the potential in the world to be great with you and he decided to mess up, or disappear, sometimes on several occasions. The guys like this that I've come across are so selfish. Its like they know potential and they know that you might actually be a "total package" or at least what they've been looking for, but they're not ready BUT they don't want anyone else to have you. So they string you along with technicalities doing just enough right to balance out their bullshit. I should call them Bryson Tillers. (Exchange is a nice song but when I realized what it was about I was actually upset. No we shall not save her for you.)

Why do we hang on?

They're like sharks they smell when you're happy, particularly when you're single and actually enjoying it and pop up, it's a hard to completely ignore them because seeing as you guys were never in a relationship, they technically never did wrong by you but they manage to constantly upset you with disappointments and smooth talk their way back into your mind and inbox with empty promises.

Don't let him back in:

You can't build off of just hopes and dreams.

The First Love:

The guy that you emotionally, physically, and mentally opened up to and were heartbroken when it ended. Their presence is everywhere, in some places you forgot to delete, you still have gifts and clothes and pictures your heart won't let you get rid of and every now and then your heart hurts remembering the times you've shared.

Why do we hang on?

Secretly your heart wishes the fire could be rekindled, but it's best to not let an old flame burn you twice. Unless we have mutual friends I realized it's not the best idea to jump at the opportunity of a one on one hang out, and no I will not talk to you about my new man because that is disrespectful one, and two you had the opportunity to be in my life and you decided you didn't want to so you will not be getting notifications or updates from me.

Don't let him back in:

That's a wound that may never heal. Especially if it was a bad break. The first love, first real love especially will always have a special place in your heart because that was the first person you were open and vulnerable with, but back tracking is damaging to you because sometimes you want it work so badly that you'll compromise things that you shouldn't for that outcome that you think is favorable and end up losing your self trying to gain someone else.

Bottom line: when the past calls, maybe it's best to let it go to voicemail because they usually don't have anything new to say...I mean unless they changed their number and message, let them chat after the beep.