I'm Going to Love You Forever: Time and Relationships
Time is defined as..
the indefinite continued progress of existence.
It's an unpredictable factor because we don't know when time ends or how time ends.
Time's affect on relationships is just as unclear because we have no idea when our relationships will end, and sometimes we ourselves don't know when to end them.
We use time as an excuse to keep a relationship...
and sometimes we use it as a reason to retire one.
Time obviously builds a strong bond between two people. Investing time in someone shows you care because time is something that we cannot get back.
The old saying of "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is testament to time being a healing factor in a relationship. Time away from your partner can make you miss your partner and love and appreciate them more...it can also make you realize that time a part is needed in order to remember why you fell for each other in order to save a relationship.
Time can also open your eyes and help you conclude that being together may not be in your best interest..
Prolonging severing ties
Why do we hold on ?
Why do we continuously allow relationships to be off and on, especially for years ?
your partner was there for you in a dark time, they've made unforgettable sacrifices for you, children, everyone says you and your partner are meant for each other, they've forgiven you when you've messed up (sometimes on multiple occasions), time is something you cannot get back so you feel forced to make it work because you don't want to feel you've wasted your time.
being with someone for so long and having them know your strengths, weaknesses, accept you at your worst, praise you at your best, know all of your deep dark secrets, you fear no one will ever love or understand you as much as your partner does.
you know they will always be the person that will take you back, your families are comfortable with each other, you've know each other for years.
Or is it that the love really that runs deep ? If it does then what causes the "offs" in the relationship ?
Time knits memories and we hold onto these memories and wrap ourselves tightly in the security blanket of familiarity to protect us from the cold, harsh reality of the world but being wrapped so tightly might suffocate any hope of growth.
Gaps that would be called "off and on" times create holes in the security blanket causing it to wear and tear and allows cold air in. This can cause us to search for other means of warmth when our security blanket doesn't suffice.
We can either repair the blanket but understand that even though those holes and tears may be stitched up the blanket is will never be the same as it was when we first got it, or realize that the blanket has served it's purpose, fold the blanket up and put it in the storage bag of memories or completely throw it away.
Sometimes you're just not ready to move on, it takes TIME and it's understandable, but there comes a point where you have to make a healthy decision for not only yourself but your partner because sometimes holding is like holding on to split ends, eventually it'll become extremely brittle, and break off completely and you'll be forced to cut it off.
Mariah Carey is queen of singing about a love that she wants to last forever but knows shouldn't. She said it best with "Nothing can compare to your first true love..." and "You will always be my baby" because the truth is definitely in those statements. We want so badly to ride to the end with the ones we've started with that we won't except that some relationships have run it's course.
In trying to extend a relationship past it's expiration date, we leave a sour, settling taste that takes away from the sweet, pleasant memories.
If you want to make it work it'd be best to find the reason for the off and on and figure out together if it is repairable, if not it may be time to part ways, hopefully in a respectful and cordial way where you don't hate each others' existence but you understand being as heavily involved in each others' lives as before may not be the best idea.
Splitting with someone you love hurts and time does heal all wounds, but a wound can't heal if we keep touching it.