No Doesn't Mean Try Harder

Dear Mr. I Won't Take No For An Answer,

I am not obligated to talk to you. You're lucky if I decide to respond to your "good morning" or "good afternoon" because we women know that 95% of those "good mornings/good afternoons" never end there.

You only want me to have a good morning if I stop walking to have a conversation or give you my number, otherwise you could care less about the day I have. You  guys will never understand how it feels to have to walk through a crowd of guys and put your head down to avoid eye contact or pretend to be on the phone or blast your music and pray none of them tries to talk to you ?

To be a sheep walking through a field of wolves

To feel like a slab of meat, walking through a pack of carnivores drenched in seasoning.

Its a terrifying feeling.

At first I wondered was it that women don't know how to say no, or is it that guys don't know how to accept a no because they always complain how they get lead on, but I realized a lot women say no in so many indirect ways, with intentions of being polite because they are AFRAID to say no.

As a woman when you say no you have to worry if you're going to get cursed out, harassed and sometimes you fear for you life, so you feel like you HAVE to give your number. They've gotten hip to the fake number trick, so they'll be so bold as to call you right then and there to MAKE SURE that's the right number.

There is something very wrong if as a man you feel like you have to scare or harass a woman into doing anything. How is it that you insist I take your number when I expressed I'm not interested and then when I don't contact you or respond to your attempts at contacting me you get upset and claim I lead you on ? How ? I never wanted you in the first place !

And yes we may complain about not being properly asked on a date or not being asked on a date at all, but just because you muster up the balls to ask me on a date, does not mean I have to say yes. Period.

To the guy standing on the block, on Instagram and Twitter, or at the club with his boys cat-calling at everything with a vagina and legs, summer time is coming and we just want to let you know no means no, not try harder.

Me not wanting you or not being interested in you does not mean something is wrong with me. My not wanting you has nothing to do with

1. My sexual preference. 

2. Your height/complexion (maybe height a little but that's not the point)

3. Trust issues (I've heard this before and couldn't understand where that even came from)


not ask a million follow up questions. No I do not want to be your friend either.

No you cannot be "boyfriend number two" either. Have some dignity. I do not have to explain why I said no either. Take the lost and keep it pushing, because last time I check guys don't like having to explain themselves even when its necessary so I definitely do not owe a stranger an explanation as to why I do not want to get to know them. That adds insult to injury.

Hey beautiful ! Hey baby.  Pssst ! Ayo Ma. Sweetheart. Sexy. Slim. Light skin. Chocolate. Baby girl. Mami. 

Not your baby. I didn't birth you. Don't refer to me as my complexion or body type. Just leave me alone.


A fed up woman