Black Women; Bottom of the Barrel ?
According to Tidal Lemonade is a project about “every woman’s journey of self knowledge and healing, it has many black women making threats about leaving their "unappreciative men" and a lot of black men are rolling their eyes, labeling them as bitter but they never stopped to understand where the "bitterness" was coming from. Beyonce is culturally ambiguous, but her most recent releases have been reminding people of something they've forgotten; shes a black woman
Whether the songs are about her she Jay-Z's relationship or not she is singing for all the women who have felt the affects of love, and black women are speaking up and speaking out about how unappreciated they've been feeling.
Now to deconstruct the sources of the "bitter black woman" that seems to have arises post the showing of Beyonce's visual album Lemonade, ”
Does it stem from a black man's desires ? The recent epidemic of "wanting a foreign ?" How much of an effect does it have on the esteem of the black woman and the relationship between black women and black men ?
I mean we all want to feel wanted it and imagine the toll it takes on someone being put down by someone that looks like you and understands your struggle like no other ?
Everyone deals with that type of rejection differently
some become bitter toward the people they've been rejected for, some try to imitate those who've they've been rejected for to be accepted, and for some it builds more self love because if you don't love yourself who's going to love you right ? But I question...
How do you look like me but don't like me ?
do you not like yourself ? Being rejected by someone that "looks like you" causes identity issues, if someone that looks like me doesn't like me then maybe I should look like the people they like, hence the "conforming to European standards of beauty"
*again this is from observation of comments of some men and the reaction of some women
Pay close attention to the part of the run on that reads "I only date girls who wear their real hair but natural hair is nappy and rough comb or relax that sh*t but black girls only wanna wear weaves and straight hair because they wanna look like white women I love Spanish girls because they crazy and speak their minds but black women always wanna argue about their feelings..." it was written as a joke but actually represents how a lot of guys feel as expressed via Instagram, Twitter, many other social networking sites and even in conversation.
Praising Latinas and white women for the same thing black women do... just like praising women who are not black for having "stereotypical black features"
Everyone but the black woman receives praise for her beauty.
And when she does receive praise it is in a sexual reference or it is convenient to prove "hey look I like black women" but they are never appreciated for the sacrificial attitude that has been recurrent throughout history of the black woman fighting for everyone but not having anyone on her team. Not even herself because some black women have grown to hate themselves and each other because of the reflections and neglect they face in society.
still even decades later the snippet of "Who Taught You to Hate Yourself" is still applicable
“The most disrespected person in America is the black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the black woman.The most neglected person in America is the black woman."
This can leave black women stuck and questioning. Think about it ;when we try to conform to European standards of beauty or what black men "think" is conforming we get slack but then we get an earful of negativity and discouraging comments for trying to embrace our natural beauty. It's like we're damned if we do and we're damned if we don't.
THAT is frustrating.
So many other issues stem from the sense of being rejected for something you are. That is where I notice some black women pretend to be something they aren't in hopes of being more desirable.
Some black women want to be "mixed" to seem foreign like the women that black men lust after and they toss aside their blackness
(ie., I'm black and Chinese or the cliche, I'm Native American claims)
Some black women love false claiming and saying they are 'mixed' because for a while in our culture black wasn't it, being black wasn't enough
But now for other cultures being black is "it" is so we (some people) want to "reclaim our blackness" like a toy we didn't want to play with because we couldn't figure it out or didn't think it was cool,but want we want it back because it looks like someone else want to play with it and has taken interest.
Other black women, the majority are defending their "blackness" because being black and all of the things associated with black culture is not and should not be a trend. The tanning, the hair styles, the body shapes and even our men have become a trend for some women who aren't black and black women are infuriated.
It's frustrating when black lives are being taken, and black culture is being taken for granted. The appropriation is receiving praise from black men and that cuts and hurts black women deeper than a black man would ever care to understand.
Black women feel as if for centuries they've put in blood, sweat and tears for everyone especially black men and the "trophy" is given to the 'foreign' or the white woman.
It seems like black women are the last to be chosen for dodge ball no one wants them on their team but in reality they may be the strongest player to have on your team.