First Comes Love Then Marriage?

A questioning response to the idea of love marriage and soulmates

 Webster says Marriage is...



  1. the legally or formally recognized union of a man and a woman (or, in some jurisdictions, two people of the same sex) as partners in a relationship.

Society tells us:

Everyone should get married. Marriage is a union where til death do us part, unless of course you divorce.

So I ask

First comes love then comes marriage ?

Is marriage necessary ?

Do you want to get married ? Why do we want to get married ?

Is marriage really the evolved form of a relationship ?

Should you marry someone you've known and loved forever or spend forever getting to know and love the person you married ? 

Marriage is what you're working toward or it's like the climax ? If so is everything after the wedding destined to flat line ?

Do you want marriage or the aesthetics of marriage ?

Does the law validate your relationship/union ?

Do you have less freedom in a marriage than you do in a committed relationship ?

Other than the law whats the difference between marriage and a committed relationship ? If it's til death do us part, where does divorce fit in that equation ? 

Webster says Love is..


an intense feeling of deep affection.  

Society tells us:

But I ask...

Why is there no universal definition for love if everyone compares and tells each other what love isn't ?

If everyone loves different, how can we determine what "true love" is ? If there's a true love, is there a false love ?

Can you marry someone you don't love ? Do you still love someone if you don't marry them ?

Does love have an expiration date ?

Is love a physical feeling, or a psychological understanding ?

Is love a psychological understanding of how someone makes you physically feel, which comes first the mental or physical ?

How is it possible to love someone and cheat on them ?




  1. (chiefly with reference to people) sexual activity, including specifically sexual intercourse.

Society tells us:

Sex sells, but don't have sex, but if you're not having sex, something is wrong with you, but if you're having too much sex something is wrong with you.

So I ask

What harm does sex before marriage really do ?

If the purpose of having sex is to reproduce, why are we trying so hard not to reproduce ?

Does sex determine how much you love someone

Do you have to have sex with someone you love ?

Does a sexless marriage means that love is absent ?

Can you have sex without emotions ?

Why does society believe that all virgins get attached after their first time ?

If you cannot physically tell that someone is a virgin and virginity is a social construct why is it still a taboo topic? Is it a mindset we create and reinforce ?

What is considered "losing your virginity ?"

Why do we "lose" rather than give it away if we know "where it went ?"

SoulmatevsLife partner



  1. a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner.


  1. a person with whom one is in a long-term monogamous relationship.

Society tells us:

When you find you'll soulmate you'll just know, and they'll complete you, everyone has one soulmate.You're soulmate is your life partner and you will be together forever because you're supposed to marry your soulmate

So I ask

Where is your soul located ?

If your soul is a deeper part of your character is your soul in your gut ?

If it's in your gut, is that why people "just have that feeling about a person" ?

Is your soulmate the person you stay with forever ?

Is your soulmate always your life partner ?

How do you know you haven't met your soulmate already ?

Can you have more than one soulmate ?