The 28 Year Old Virgin
Vague Questions to, for and from Virgins
Do virgins exist ?
When writing this my auto correct changed virgin to Virginia so many times. It's like it doesn't exist but it has such an impact on people's lives. Virginity is a social construct to control woman, and sexuality is used as a means to control the body and thus controlling society because the primary purpose for sex is reproduction.However we're purposely having sex to not reproduce, but to feel good and to connect with someone on a closer more intimate level.
What's a born again virgin ?
A born-again virgin is a person who, after having engaged in sexual intercourse, makes some type of commitment not to be sexually active again until marriage, whether for religious, moral, practical, or other reasons
Or the infamous having your "hoeness" deleted
Is being a born again virgin a mindset to get back into touch with the "pureness associated with virginity" or are they ashamed of their sexual history in comparison to what society reveals as "acceptable."
What about guys who are virgins ?
This always follows with the question of "Do they still exist ?" because men and virginity are seen as water and oil, they don't mix. In society it's a "rite of passage" to "lose" ones virginity as a man before a certain age. From several interviews I found that a lot of men lose their virginity to older women and go into situations "emotionally detached" to show that the are the man. And as everyone know "real men" don't show emotions.
Hence the association of virginity with women and the stigma of emotional attachment and clinging that everyone believes comes with it. We train our little girls from young that it is okay to express emotions and feelings (which it is because we're human) but we tell our boys that showing emotion and expressing strong feelings like sadness and that giddy feeling we get from liking someone and being in love is not okay. What we don't realize is that we're settling ourselves up because those emotionless men who have difficulty express emotion raise boys just like that instilling a sense of "manliness" in their sons and those same men and sons are the guys we come across and date and have sex with and complain that we don't get enough emotion out of them. We're practicing those gender roles again that tell us how a man and how a woman should act.
In knowing this when a man loses his virginity he mentally prepares himself to be detached a pattern that follows through into many future relationships and sexual encounters because they believe that's how they should be.
Virgins VS Sex in a Handicap match
A lot of people use sex as a measure of someone's competence or incompetence. It's a get in and get what you can and get out situation for a lot of people that leaves them confused.
What happened to the patience of talking with your partner to get to know their bodies them learning yours and you getting to know your own ?
There's such a selfishness surrounding sex where the goal for everyone is to make sure "I get mine" and if I give I HAVE to get in return rather than wanting to please someone because you want to see them happy. Why ?
Because we trying to have emotionless no strings attached sex and it's messing up our heads. You want to see the person you love happy and you would do things to make the person you care about happy. You don't have to love them but if there is some type of feeling there other than just a physical attraction then maybe a lot of people having sex wouldn't be caught in one-sided situations trying to convince themselves they don't have emotions for the person they are having casual sex with.
If we weren't so accepting of "casual no strings attached sex" we wouldn't think of virgins and associate them with being clingy, biology and having sex . When you have sex, and actually orgasm endorphin are released that causes happiness. Why wouldn't you want to have sex with someone who makes you happy ?
It's a stress reliever: The endorphins released during sexual intercourse and orgasms are natural mood-boosters and stress relievers.
Endorphin is a combination of the words "endogenou" (produced within the body) and "morphine" They're released from the pituitary gland of the brain during periods of strenuous exercise, emotional stress, pain, and orgasm. Endorphins help relieve pain and induce feelings of pleasure or euphoria.
The mind, body and soul are all connected and for some it takes a level of mental openness and connection before anyone's is able to physically arouse them. When is the last time someone touched something other than your body ? Stimulated something other than your genitals ? We can't make up our minds because sex sells but sex is sin so as restless entities in purgatory we judge everyone around us rather than work on our own happiness and with the need to categorize everyone is either a virgin or a whore. Anyone who does not completely fit into the category confuses us and we begin to pry and question forgetting that what someone does or doesn't do in their bedroom doesn't affect us unless we're the ones having sex with them.
Questions to Think About
- Why do we automatically assume any person that's older than a certain afar but a virgin has something wrong with them ?
- Or why do we commend them for being a virgin still as if it is a hard thing to do ? Is that a confession of the pressure of society ?
- If by societies standards virginity represents purity why are we in such a rush to give it away ?
- Why is it easier for someone to open their legs to someone else but not open their mouths to express emotions with out being condemned ?
- Is virginity romanticized like marriage, does virginity spark like the jewels on a brides tiara as she walks down the aisle in her white dress ?
- If it were tangible would we take better care of it like we do with our phones ?
- What would happen if we shared our virginity rather than gave it away ?
- Would we be more selective with whom we shared it with ?
- What does your virginity look like ?
- What if that virgin is just waiting until they're completely comfortable and it takes them longer than others ? Is that really a crime ?
- If they wait til marriage why does it matter ?
What's the point of just having sex to have it and having someone end up being confused because they feel they have to hide their feelings because they agreed to a no feelings or strings hookup but their heart strings are all tangled because they want to be connected to yours.
Do we care about virginity ?
We live in a society where losing your phone is more devastating than "losing your virginity" & we're more selective with who holds our phones & knows our passwords than who unlocks our chastity belts, if we're really going there...
It's all in the wording, "losing virginity vs giving it away" Usually when we use the words lose or give away. It's either really upsetting when you lose something or you lost it because you didn't care to keep up with it, and when you give something away you didn't want it anymore so you got rid of it. So is that a reflection of how we as a society feels about virginity or just a coincidence in wording ?
Should you tell him or her that you're a virgin ?
Why tell them if he's just going to categorize you the same way he would a "hoe" What's the rush to have sex ? You can't tell someone is a virgin, physically so why judge, why clock their vagina mileage and if their car has started or not ? There are so many things we tell are girls not to do in regards to sex what is left to do but lay there or be a prude ?
If we weren't so accepting of "casual no strings attached sex" we wouldn't think of virgins and associate them with being clingy, biology of having sex "when you have sex endorphin are releases that cause happiness" why would you not want to have sex with someone that makes you happy ?
Do virgins think they are holier than thou ?
Do virgins think they're holier than thou or do we don them with a halo ?
Angela Simmons has recently been under criticism because he story about being a virgin getting engaged and being pregnant isn't adding up, I say that's not our business. If she lied about being a virgin, that's something she has to deal with, but judging her especially in a society where so many people are having sex before being married, lying about being virgins or just criticizing virgins in general doesn't help anyone.
Basically there's no winning because we live in a world where one body is not enough and 2 is too many. Stupid stereotypes with emotional connection and virgins being clingy, especially of women being virgins, women being "emotional creatures" and men being only about "physical pleasure" are gender roles that were perpetuate and practice everyday but complain about as a hindrance for growth and happiness.
If you're a virgin be proud, if you're sexually liberated be proud and be safe, just don't broadcast you're sexual life. If we weren't so worried about what everyone else was doing with their bodies then we wouldn't subconsciously compare ourselves to what they were doing to label them or ourselves as "whores" or "virgins" Be safe and be honest with yourself.
Ladies if it's not your vagina it's not your concern. Same to gentlemen It's like you're damned if you have sex and you're damned if you don't so do what makes YOU happy but be safe and make sure you're healthy.