Its My Hair

Men have no problem expressing their opinions on what we as women do with our hair. Problem is I don't remember if we ever ask them for their opinions.

Fathers, brothers, boyfriends and guy friends alike are guilty of giving harsh and usually unwanted opinions on what we choose to do with our hair, with OUR CROWNS.

Image result for black girl sad straight hair

Should a woman consult her man before changing her hairstyle ? 

A woman’s hair is a very sensitive part of her body. With so much of our identity wrapped up in our strands, we go to great lengths to get the healthiest and shiniest hair — even if this means letting a hairstylist do whatever the heck he or she wants. But it seems as though everybody has something to say about the very hairs that grow out of our scalps. -Dana Oliver, Huffington Post

Cuts, colors, switching the side your hair parts or even the thought of  a simple trim makes men cringe. Men don't have as much versatility or maintenance in dealing with their hair or even their clothes for that matter so we should not allow their opinions to interfere with trying a new hairstyle or how we feel about how we look.

Not only do we worry about the men in our lives passing judgment on the styles we decide on, but we consciously and subconsciously look to the media to define what is beautiful, forgetting that one person's definition of beauty is not the same as the next person's.

But the media says I'm ugly ...

Particularly for women of color Eurocentric beauty aesthetics have been engraved into our minds as the guide for beauty. Long luscious hair, thin and pale facial features and petite frames have been the enemy of the reflection of women of color for many years.

Looking at this video from a sociological stand point one can see that this is a prime display of white supremacy is the use of Eurocentrism as the standard of beauty. When whiteness is considered superior, white people are defined as more attractive, therefore as the appearance of people of other races stray from that standard, they are considered less attractive.

Image result for afrocentric beauty vs eurocentric
Image result for afrocentric beauty vs eurocentric

Harsh, but there's truth in the statement.

We'll go years without trims, walking around with damaged hair, or have our natural hair screaming for help under bundles of Malaysian, Peruvian and Brazilian tracks.

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Ladies. Make sure you take care of your crown before you decide to add more embellishments, because it is important to see and be satisfied with the original beauty you were born with so that embellishments with enhance, rather than mask the beauty.

It's complicated situation because some days we can feel like "I am not my hair" like India Arie, and other days we can feel so frustrated with our hair and wonder "why doesn't my hair curl like so-and-so's," or "I wish my hair was longer or wasn't so boring."

I'll let everyone in on a little secret.

Every woman is a Queen and It's about finding balance, knowing that you're a Queen with or without your crown, regardless of the size or color or amount of diamonds in your crown. More importantly decorate your crown the way you want because it was made just for you.

Image result for black women hair crown

photo credit: Pinterest

Top 4 things you should never say to a woman about her hair

  1. What did you do to your hair ? (What do you mean !? How am I supposed to take this ?)
  2. You should've done ____ to your hair. (What's done is done, we don't want to hear suggestions or recommendations after it's too late.)
  3. I like your weave, faux hairstyle (like we know its not ours no need to point it our just say you like the style and keep it pushing.)
  4. I like your hair better the other way.