Embracing Dating: Entering a Realm of the Unknown
It happens. You were in a relationship, and it springs a leak and you end up having to jump ship. In panic you swim back to shore and vow never to leave the safety of the island again. You spend months watching other people leave the island, sail off into the sunset, blazing trails on their water skis and just enjoying life ... and you're watching from the house wishing you weren't afraid. Wanting to get back out there. Word of advice.
Don't be afraid of the ocean, just keep swimming and remember there are plenty of fish in the sea and just because one ship didn't take you to your destination doesn't mean you shouldn't go for anymore rides. Life is short live a little. You'll get to your destination eventually, enjoy the journey.
So let's take a step into the realm of unknown; the world of dating
dates are not a life time commitment.
you do not have to marry the person you date, as a matter of fact you don't even have to go on a follow up date.
dating is a realm of the unknown and we fear things we don't know and outcomes we cant for see, which explains why dating for some is so scary.
Let's start with the basics:
Dating is a verb and a noun.
Dating is go out with (someone in whom one is romantically or sexually interested)
If you're single, dating more than one person is okay. If they ask you can be honest and let them know you're dating other people, I believe that if they're interested in you and know that other people are pursuing your time and attention, they'll step up their game to eventually be the only one to have your attention.
Dating allows you to get to know multiple people on a non-committed playing field where some people make it to the next level and eventually become that star player.
It's the early stages where you find someone you have a mutual attraction to and you go to different places and engage in different activities to get to know them better to decide if beyond their looks, are they what you want in a potential partner.
Dating Discrepancies: Myths about dating that make us hesitant & usually aren't true
- first dates are awkward
- you don't have to kiss on your first date, you don't owe anyone anything, do what makes you feel comfortable and what you won't regret
- the guy doesn't always have to pay on the first date
- its okay be excited and let them know that you are you don't have to "play it cool"
- you don't have to go on a second date, be honest if you aren't interested
- you won't have fun if you don't spend a lot of money
Facing Anxieties of Dating
Dates should be fun experiences, where you meet a new person (or give a person you knew already a chance on a different level) Don't let your fears conquer you.
fear of not being compatible with anyone ...
try the dating apps, don't be embarrassed, and a lot of them you're only notified if you guys both selected each other :)
fear of ...
worrying what they'll think of you. when meeting someone new that you hope to impress the best thing to remember is to be comfortable with being yourself.
fear of ...
feeling inadequate because someone is highly attractive. relax, remember they're a person who bleeds and poops just like you do.
fear of ...
trying to plan the future. take one thing at a time, the next person that you date way not be your future husband or wife, yes you should date someone you can see yourself in a relationship and eventually marrying, eventually, but you can't tell that off of the first date, time your time and get to know the person and if it doesn't work out, remember there are plenty more fish in the sea.
fear of ...
getting antsy or attached because you're cyberstalking and see them still being flirty. don't dig. I repeat. DO NOT DIG. Unless you guys establish you're dating exclusively, or are in a relationship they can date and flirt if they want, as can you. 9 times out of 10 you're not the only person they are dating.
Helpful Hints for Guys
Super Simple, Creative Ideas That Aren't Formal
GOOGLE IS YOUR BEST FRIEND.
Guys, despite the myths you've heard you DO NOT have to take a lady on a date to a fancy restaurant on the FIRST date, or the second, or even the third. The trick is to make it a memorable dating. If you're so busy stressing about how much money to spend your won't be fully focused on the date.
Try something simple like a cafe and get to know each other over tea/coffee/hot cocoa. It's not harsh on your pockets and you don't have to work about having a piece of food accidentally flying on your date or not being able to afford dessert. It's not wise to break your pockets on someone you're just getting to know, and you're not sure you'll see for a second date. I also don't suggest movies, you can't really talk much and it makes for the awkward "space issue."
Here are a few of my favorites + more
- Museums & Galleries (I'm an artsy girl this type of date isn't for every lady)
- Festivals (Culture Galore and if you get her a little trinket which can run you anywhere from $5-$10 it'll bring a smile to her face and she'll be sure to remember the date)
- Rollerskating (Great way to get the heart racing and eliminate the fear of looking silly in front of your date, it'll loosen you guys up)
- Starbucks (get to know her favorite drink and engage in some good ol' conversation)
- Walks in the park, I love taking walks and talking
*again these are MY favorites every lady is different*
Check out these date ideas:
stay tuned for my segment of 20 first dates :)