Relationships: Being Qualified for the Job: The Background Check

Agreeing to the Background Check

Fellas, this is actually involuntarily, once mutual interest is expressed,that is when the background check begins.

Inspired by an Instagram post that was meant to be a joke, I want to inform you that ladies and gentlemen this is not a joke. These are serious factors that can eliminate you from the pool of "dating potentials"

Any woman that is considering dating you is going to look at 4 things on your social media.

  1. Who You Follow 
  2. What You Like 
  3. What You Post
  4. Who Comments on Your Page and What They Say.

Time and time again guys make the argument that, "It's just social media," but I dismiss this statement. It's never just social media. It's never just Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook. The time that we take to construct our profile to make ourselves attractive to our target audience, strategically plotting what and when we post, these are not just social media sites.

These are our judges, our diaries, our potential employers, our matchmakers and our portfolios. Even the most "rebellious people" who claim to hate social media and trendy things make it their business to USE these platforms to complain about how much they hate these platforms, and those who actually do not utilize social media networks proudly broadcast such "freedom" as if we are all slave to social media, when in really it is integrated into our lives and serves plenty purposes and can be used in moderation. Not everyone is addicted. Social media has it's purpose, it's up to us to make it serve it.

But that's besides the point, understand the importance of social media and how it can make or break a guy being in the running for America's Next Top Boyfriend, lol I kid, nothing that serious, just understand how it can determine if you make it to the next level.

1. Who You Follow.

Birds of a feather flock together, just as guys love to claim "if you're friends are promiscuous then there is the chance that you are promiscuous." Not to say that this statement is true but Instagram's feature (as well as other social media networks) of letting us see mutual friends and just your friends in general makes it easy to determine whether or not you want to move forth in your interest with someone based on the mutual friends. Maybe they're following some trouble...maybe they're following a bunch of your lady friends and it makes you skeptical...maybe they follow your ex...or their ex...or that girl that keeps giving you dirty looks and accidentally likes your pictures. Who you follow is like your references when applying for the position potential bae. 

2. What You Like 

What you like shows what you're interested in. I've witnessed first hand how stingy people are with likes, so it's safe to say that we don't just like anything that anyone posts. Again this is not to say that just because you like a picture of an Instagram model or a random half naked woman, does not mean that a woman will not purse you, however it does become questionable when the social networking sites reveal that you've like 8 of your ex's pictures in a row, and half of them she is scantily clad or they are selfies where her breast are half of the frame. Very questionable, because we all know what consecutive likes can lead to or lead the receiving party to assume. Where you share your likes and double taps major of the time is where your interest lies or where your desires are aimed. 

3. What You Post

What you post gives in sight into who you are and what is important. We post to show off a look, our family, or our partner, to praise ourselves or our friends, or share good news. Some times too much sharing of what your doing can be seen as an insecurity and a need for validation. Maybe your frequent posts of drugs and alcohol are a turn off. If you're one that always posts your business and subliminal messages it's a red flag because no one wants their dirty laundry aired. Your profile picture speaks on your personality, that's the first face you put forth. Everything we post is strategic, the time we post and what we chose to post or not to post.

4. Who Comment on Your Page and What They Say 

This is self explanatory. Someone else's comment can get you hurt, and get you disqualified from the running, some times. There is a difference between random women commenting and that one or two women that makes another women's gut go "Uh uh something is not right here." Women's intuition is almost 99.9% correct, especially when you factor in the other determining factors explained above. 

A Little 101 on Women's Intuition...

Men have it too, however women being more in tune with their emotions, tap into that feeling of uneasiness to make a "quick understanding to interpret but without using reasoning or perception, a snap judgment." Which is why guys don't understand how we are able to come up with our "assumption" which is often proven to be true. (Credit to for the definition.)

Now I'm not saying hide what you do or change who you are, but this is just an FYI in case you wonder why you've been rejected without reason. Among other things, your social media activity may be one of the reasons, you may not be a fit for the person you are interested.