The Relationship and The Individual


So one of my friends hit me up and asked a question on relationships and individuality and I a thought it was an interesting one.

A relationship, at least a romantic one to me is two individuals who mutually agree to date each other (verb) and go on dates (nouns) to get to see if they are compatible to enjoy each other’s presence for the long run. (Reason why I believe you can date multiple people until both parties decide to be mutually exclusive (meaning they only date each other)

Everyone has their reasoning for why they believe they’re not in a relationship or should not be in one and I’m not here to judge, just to provide prospective.

Too often I hear people having a strong desire to be in a relationship because they believe they are missing their “better half” who is out there as they assume looking for them. This my friends insinuates that you alone are not enough and you need someone to complete you, so of course it’d be easy to say you’d lose your individuality…it was never cherished to begin with !

If someone feels that a relationship would cause them to lose their individuality I say I believe there is an imbalance. Either one person is forcing their habits and ways on you or you’re allowing your world to revolve around someone else so your every move & thought is catered to them.

People lose their individuality when they’re seeking to rapidly reach an ‘end goal.’ For a lot of people that is to make a relationship official (with titles “boyfriend and girlfriend), marriage or some form of eternal union (so I believe) and having this goal in mind people work tirelessly to make the “journey” quicker or easier often compromising themselves in the process.

A relationship should not feel like a prison sentence, but contrary, the liberty to be who you truly are.


In my opinion in a healthy romantic relationship the individual in its purest form still stands but they don’t change, they develop…those good qualities are enhanced by experience with the other individual because being around this person you genuinely care about makes you want to be your best self.