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So You Took Him Back

So You Took Him Back

So You Took Him Back...

Let me tell you a story of a girl who back tracked...

Remember that guy that she told you she would never get back with ?

The same guy she talked about for hours, for days, for weeks, even months on end, his name was like word vomit, she couldn't help but bring him up any chance she was given ?

The one she cried about, bashed and even Taylor Swifted ? (wrote a poem or song or book, lol) about ?

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Yep. That one. Turns out she took him back and now you feel like she's a hypocrite.

That's because she is (sorry girl), but that doesn't mean that she is a horrible person. Life, especially the romantic aspect of it, is a learning experience which does not come with a manual, so you have to teach your own classes and fail them sometimes because even you aren't prepared for what was on your own test. 

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It happens more often than people mention but for some "backtracking" or "taking a guy back," is a harder pill to swallow simply because of the way the situation transpired. 

One of the worst cases, often the usual case, is that you were devastated by the ending of the relationship and to cope you spoke with your close friends or even parents, so now they know the details of what happened and where it went wrong and being your family members and friends they are not going to favor anyone who they know has hurt you.

Let's think about it though, of course they aren't going to hear his story, so him having to come back into your life is like him coming into a court room with a jury made up of your friends and family, already guilty trying to prove himself innocent.

So the burning question is ... why would she take him back ? 

What I will say is, the only way a guy would ever have the opportunity to come back into my life depends on how we ended. I have never been in a situation before where I would ever even consider taking an ex back so an experience like that is completely new territory. I figured with a little pep talk she would be able to move forward. The love doesn't ever actually die, sometimes it deflates, like loses air and a separation is the air that is needed to give the relationship life again. (of course after honest conversation and mutual interest in trying to make things work, not just rebounding.)

Friends: Ew why are you back with him ?

He didn't cheat. He was not abusive. He did not lie. 

right guy, wrong time ? One of those things ?

sometimes you have to take a step backward, and backtrack to move forward. 

You're always asked that question, how do you know that he's not cheating or hasn't cheated ? 

honestly... sometimes you just know. 

You would think once you've worked out the kinks with your partner, it would be smooth sailing on rebuilding your relationship, but it's not that simple.

Why is it so hard ?

The people who's opinions mean the most to you associate this guy with heartbreak and making you upset, and having talked so much about what you feel this guy did wrong and how disappointed and hurt you are makes it hard for him to make a comeback. Also it takes a lot to recant on your statements of "never taking him back," and trash talking of how corny he looked when he tucked his shirts in or whatever his little idiosyncrasies were (and probably still are).

Owning up to your faults in the demise or aftermath of the relationship

It is hard to realize that you brought this difficulty of moving through your life, backtracking or moving forward freely, on yourself by involving other people in your business. A private romantic life is a happy romantic life, and issues in the house should be solved at the table, not taken as a to-go meal or shared with others, especially if you and your partner cooked them up together.

What will my friends say ?

Your friends and family with definitely hit you with the disapproving faces, and the "I told you so's" but ultimately if they love you and the relationship was not toxic, and the guy is actually showing you that he is willing to work and fix what went wrong then your friends and family will be happy that you are happy.

Building Your Roster: Issa Game

Building Your Roster: Issa Game

Ctrl for the Culture

Ctrl for the Culture